This looks like the physical representation of "familiarity breeds contempt" - what was once a human being gone terribly wrong in a revelationary moment of existential angst and indignation following years of blind societal habituation.
Was - Is
I can't say I've never met You. But so fleetingly, I sometimes wonder if it ever really happened; and what did happen, I couldn't say even if I could somehow recreate it in all its originally immaculate clarity and detail lost to time from constant recollection. You-ness migrates, and as an entity that consistently exists, resides in someone else now, I hope. I'm glad to have had my brief encounter with You, though the time-based subject has long expired in terms of embodiment, because I guess it wasn't meant to be, so it doesn't really matter. It's just a pity to come to this knowledge only in retrospect, since things might've turned out differently. But I know I will never forget.
Is - Will Be
You teach me to be patient, and so I am in no hurry. The past has taught me to believe in You, and that's sufficient. I have no idea what to expect, but I will definitely know it when we meet again, like the previous time when we were both so lucidly aware. I only hope that this time round, if ever, it won't be too late and that we're playing for keeps, though I'm so afraid of the form and times You may take on and, by extension, any accompanying complications. I think it may be easier to feign ignorance and regret the non-past afterwards, but is the former even a viable logical possibility?
ah! YYY!!! maps is such a lovely tribute to fans
ReplyDeleteand oh i've yet to watch the pan's labyrinth in my pod 'cos it isn't subbed!
anyway dreams are funny things, aren't they? if there's any comfort, at least you're waking up to something better each day! :)
i have an inkling of what you're saying in the latter half, though i'm not entirely sure too. well, (if i'm not wrong) we're all waiting i guess.
hi kenneth!! you know i saw your new layout and i thought comments were finally up then i realised i couldn't comment, lol. i was at pageone a few days back and i grabbed two collins classics (wuthering heights and emma) for less than five bucks each too haha. you know, 500 days of summer is so painfully bittersweet i can't quite bear to watch it again even though it's so lovely. oh i watched pan's labyrinth from this program i downloaded, except the chinese and english subtitles overlap each other but if you'd like the link just let me know =) i didn't know that's what maps was about, though!! i always thought it was another love song, oops! haha thanks btw. i feel a little bad for being deliberately obscure because it's intellectual dis-integrity but for privacy haha. i'm glad you understand, though =)
ReplyDeleteah! my bad, when you change a theme on tumblr you'd have to do up the "comments" html code again which i forgot! anyway it's up now. er just click on the "0 comments" at the top of the entry, i think hah. oh yeah, hope you like the new layout hahaha! i did spend a bit of time on it (esp sourcing my pictures to make a banner)
ReplyDeletewah, i think i re-watched 500 days of summer a couple of times by now. shit haha. yeah if you have the link available, lemme know :)
about maps, haha actually i didnt really know about it until recently i read that it was a tribute to fans written on the band's trailer when they were traveling through the country on tour (or smth like that).
ah well it's alright. it's not like i dont try to mask things up a lil with my entries either hahaha! no worries there :)
[oh and just to comment on your most recent post, i just came home from the lib with sartre's existentialism and human emotions! my teaching supervisor was asking me to start with camus but i thought ah what the heck. i'm a couch potato this weekend!]