I'm listening to: Dido - Stoned

It's hard sometimes not to look away
And think what's the point
When I'm having to hold this fire down
I think I'll explode if I can't feel this freely now


Chaque fois que tu t'en vas
Je prétends que tout va bien


Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time


When I keep wondering who's holding Donna now
And I keep wondering whose heart she's knocking around
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To be in his shoes somehow


My heart is drenched in wine
You'll be on my mind, forever


Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in the lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me


Well, it’s just so little,

And I can see through you and know it will end
This distance, this secret is seeping out my skin

I'm listening to: Paolo Nutini - Candy

HELLO, MEET MY NEW CRUSH.

Paolo, welcome to my blog! You are most welcome to stay here forever =)
















OF COURSE I CHOSE THE CUTEST PHOTOS I COULD FIND BUT WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  HE'S 23, TALENTED, SOULFUL AND CUTE (ITALIAN-SCOT!). I CAN MELT AND EVAPORATE NOW. THANKS FOR THE INTRODUCTION RAND ={D





After all the raving, I have to admit, I think liking his music's an acquired taste. 'Candy' reminds me a little of James Morrison's 'Broken Strings', and in my opinion he's a rawer version of Jason Mraz, Morrison, etc.; that is, sans the mainstream-pop gloss. I didn't like it on the first listen but after a few more, I couldn't stop replaying the video and still after, I was so blown away.

The vibe his sound exudes reminds me of the Raveonettes'. If it had a physical presence it'd be like swirling dust in an old attic transformed by the late afternoon sunlight into what looks like sparkly fairydust. It's both old and new but always nostalgically magical.

And doesn't he look a teeny bit familiar? ;-)

I'm listening to: Foals - Alabaster

She's up in the sky, and the sky is on fire.


I love this song.

It's been a half-week from hell but I'm awfully glad it all worked out. =) I think learning the excruciatingly painful way - that it's too easy to overlook things that really matter and instead get distracted and so caught up in side issues to neglect the former - has been somewhat worthwhile, because I'm hoping the reminder will stick for awhile.

If tomorrow never comes (a friend's Facebook status; and what does it mean, really?), it would necessarily mean an interruption in the 24-hour time cycle, which could be astronomical/physical (the sun doesn't rise, etc. ) or metaphysical (a time-space glitch where time stops or loops). Since either of these possibilities are inconceivable based on the laws of this universe as we know it, our present reality will collapse and our present selves must also cease to exist. So, if tomorrow never comes, We will all perish along with the destruction of the world. On the other hand, if you consider a subjective perception/experience of the universe: if and when we die, tomorrow won't come either. I suppose the apocalyptic interpretation is quite evident to most people, though probably not in the same sense, and I'm not sure it's logically significant in song lyrics and the like.

Sighhhhh, Amanda.



Alabaster lover, you won't get more.
We made each other, you won't get more.

I'm listening to: Sherwood - Middle of the Night

And if I don't make it known that I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that we ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out what's wrong.

Disclaimer:  89  12-8  a  7-34-78-45-90-56-89-4,  89-7-23-34-4-78-45-34,  12-7-34  extremely  0-90-23-23-34-23-23-89-5-34  6-89-56-4-67.  I'm   23-45-89-56-89-7-56  56-67-89-23  12-56  (5-34-45-67  low)  45-89-23-89  of  67-90-78  bothering  56-90  34-34-4-90-34-34  89-56. 

89-56  89-89-90-90-23  8-34  56-90  see  67-90-78  12-45-90-78-7-34  any  90-45  56-67-34-8,  34-23-0-34-4-89-12-90-90-67  leaving  23-89-56-67  67-34-45,  23-67-89-4-67  8-89-56-67-56  well  6-34  89-67  90-23-7  34-90-89-7-56  12-7-34  just  8-12-89-34-23  89-34  23-12-7-56  56-90  34-89-34  now. 89  don't  4-12-45-34  89  78-78-23-56  don't  23-12-7-56  56-90  23-67-12-45-34  you.  

GODDAMMIT FUCK EVERYTHING

I'm listening to: Metallica - Unnamed Feeling

MOTHER. BLOODY. FUCKER. MOTHER. FUCKER. ASS WHORE. BLOODY. FUCKTARD. MOTHER. BLOODY. FUCKING. GODDAMN. HELL.

I'm listening to: Savage Garden - Santa Monica

The sound is so chill but the lyrics carry such dark meaning. They're juxtaposed just so, and suspended in timelessness for the perfect contrast to send me on the brink of existential satiety, and I think Sartre would be proud. Man, it makes me want to visit the West Coast. There's something about it that just escapes me, that I can't quite put my finger on it. I also want to see Malibu, thanks to Hole's gorgeous song of the same name, as well as the associated thoughts and memories that come along with it, which I never want to lose.

The pertinent question is: what are you leaving behind to go in search for?










Even after all that, I'm not sure we aren't still going in circles.

I'm listening to: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps

My dream last night (the awful couples was just a tiny episode of the entire set!) is probably the most horrible I've had in years. It was so bad I was jolted awake, and after the initial confusion I was so thankful it wasn't real. The monsters in it were those in my head coming out to play. They're not epically repulsive in the fashion of the pop media's grandiose creations, but if they could be physically defined they might look something like the 'hand-man' from Pan's Labyrinth.





This looks like the physical representation of "familiarity breeds contempt" - what was once a human being gone terribly wrong in a revelationary moment of existential angst and indignation following years of blind societal habituation.


Was - Is
I can't say I've never met You. But so fleetingly, I sometimes wonder if it ever really happened; and what did happen, I couldn't say even if I could somehow recreate it in all its originally immaculate clarity and detail lost to time from constant recollection. You-ness migrates, and as an entity that consistently exists, resides in someone else now, I hope. I'm glad to have had my brief encounter with You, though the time-based subject has long expired in terms of embodiment, because I guess it wasn't meant to be, so it doesn't really matter. It's just a pity to come to this knowledge only in retrospect, since things might've turned out differently. But I know I will never forget.

Is - Will Be
You teach me to be patient, and so I am in no hurry. The past has taught me to believe in You, and that's sufficient. I have no idea what to expect, but I will definitely know it when we meet again, like the previous time when we were both so lucidly aware. I only hope that this time round, if ever, it won't be too late and that we're playing for keeps, though I'm so afraid of the form and times You may take on and, by extension, any accompanying complications. I think it may be easier to feign ignorance and regret the non-past afterwards, but is the former even a viable logical possibility?

I'm listening to: The Eels - Fresh Feeling

You don't have a clue

What it is like to be next to you

Tonight I'm actually pretty grateful to reach home safely. It's one of those rare times, and I know it isn't that dangerous but walking home alone at 1 in the morning from the edge of Burgundy (that's probably a couple of kilometers) is just a little scary. Even with so much on my mind.


Words can't be that strong
My heart is reeling

UtannerCity

Startling engenderment: a warm,

Stark presence, the proximate recollection of

Starched shirt collars, some

Stargazer washed ashore by a sea of lapis twilight, who would

Starve for your attention.

I'm listening to: Chuck Bartowski singing

I. NEED. THE. LEVI. VERSION. OF. TERRIFIED. NOW.

=(

This viewer commented on the Youtube video - "he used the intersect to sing."
LOLWTF but Chuck + singing = iMelt. *Sigh*

I had the most wonderful evening out, and my tummy and soul are both well fed and comfortably satiated.



The stars shine in the sky tonight
Like a path beyond the grave
When you wish upon that star
There's two of us you need to save

It's not where you're coming from
It's where you're going to
And I just wanna go with you

I'm listening to: Blink 182 - Girl at the Rock Show

The girl at the rock show is everything I'm not cool enough but would love to be, except maybe that she got kicked out of school for failing and they're running off to Vegas. Blink has such cute songs =) 


There's something sitting at the back of my mind, and I think it's the troubling dream I had and already half-forgot, because I'm not sure what it means my subconscious is harboring. I would love to have clean forgotten everything but I know it won't let me and perhaps it's just a reminder to be careful and to look out for similar signs, I think. All the same, the residual emotions and psychological energies are quite disturbing, but I'm glad they're at least avoiding repression as far as I can tell, by manifesting in the dream content which I would've preferred not to remember upon waking. I still remember the Latent vs. Manifest dream content from my IS a couple of years back; and maybe it's because I don't know enough about dream interpretation in its most established sense, but I've always thought that a healthy and reasonably keen intrapersonal awareness is hands down better than some dream dictionary, any day.




There's spring in the air
They're sweeping the streets
Wind is a breeze
The sun becomes her, he agrees

What's holding up her face?
Nothing but blue skies
Passageways to windows
That don't close

Where do you live?
Love is a place
Where are you from?
She says; ask yourself, ask anyone

What's holding up her face?
Nothing but blue skies
Passageways the mind's eye
Contemplates

I'm listening to: Coldplay - Shiver

I feel a little creeped out by what I wrote two posts ago, in light of recent events. It's always hard to (or not to) say goodbye when you never thought you had to - this I have really come to understand. You're sad to be left behind when someone else's gone ahead of you, but we'll all eventually catch up anyway; and then the most important thing is to have had a wonderful journey. This is what it means to me: I compiled a list of songs I would like to be played at my wake, in no particular order.


Boston - Amanda
Goo Goo Dolls - Name
Absinthe Glow - Contradictions
Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You
Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time
Mae - Skyline Drive
Bryan Adams - Summer of '69
Ryuichi Sakamoto - Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence (Piano Version)
The Eels - The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight
Travis - Under the Moonlight
Billie Holiday - I'll Be Seeing You
Hole - Malibu
The Carpenters - For All We Know
Saigon Kick - Love is On the Way
Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
Alanis Morissette - Mary Jane
Chicago - If You Leave Me Now
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
Kim Carnes - Bette Davis Eyes
Bobby Darin - The Other Half of Me
Sixpence None the Richer - Kiss Me
The Temptations - My Girl
Jason Mraz - You and I Both
Sugarcult - Memory (Acoustic)
Anberlin - Naive Orleans
The Drifters - This Magic Moment
R.E.M. - Daysleeper
Buddy Holly - Maybe Baby
Norah Jones - Sunrise
Dido - Take My Hand
The Beatles - Ticket to Ride
Saves the Day - Driving in the Dark
The Eagles - Love Will Keep Us Alive
The Juliana Theory - Top of the World
Copeland - Coffee
Human League - Together in Electric Dreams
Butch Walker - Take Tomorrow
Katie Melua - Nine Million Bicycles
The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song
Ben Folds Five - Air
U2 - Sweetest Thing
Elliott Smith - Alameda
Camera Obscura - French Navy
Metric - Love is a Place
Something Corporate - As You Sleep
Belinda Carlisle - Summer Rain
The Cranberries - You and Me
The Platters - Sea of Love
Incubus - Echo
Jolie Holland - Sascha
Otis Redding - These Arms of Mine
Belle & Sebastian - Another Sunny Day
Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine
Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want is You
Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There
Foals - This Orient
Coldplay - The Scientist
Don Henley - Boys of Summer
Vanessa Carlton - San Francisco
The Beach Boys - Wouldn't It be Nice
John Mayer - Not Myself
Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine


** You know who you are; I'd be very grateful if you'd please arrange this for me =)

Some of my favourite songs aren't here, but I think these suit the occasion and they're so lovely and evocatively nostalgic. By then, they might all have become REALLY vintage and I can't quite imagine Dashboard and SoCo being 'old school'.