I'm listening to: Madeleine Peyroux - Between the Bars

I have to admit, it really is quite pointless trying to rationalize everything, if not merely for the impression of comfort from falling back on a defense mechanism like that, in the face of anything unpleasant. In other words, it really is still pointless. I think I might be on the verge of contradicting myself.

Reason and emotion should go hand in hand, but it's so hard striking a balance. In an attempt to insure myself against the latter and all the liabilities that come along with it, I could very well have overcompensated in engaging too much with the former. I'm not sure exactly how bad that might be, because I think they coexist on a relative rather than an absolute scale where our capacities are expandable.

I may just be tired (from what??), but today's unexpected excursion to Neurotica was somewhat harrowing. I hope I haven't left myself behind in that place. Like my heart's been drained and hung out to dry in the SCORCHING sun, I don't know how much I can believe, right now; my head telling me that there really are certain things I do genuinely care enough about. No, I don't think I ought to care more; I just don't have enough shits to go around.




We'll never find out
Just how much of ourselves we'd left behind,
'Til we turn back in search of an answer.