I'm listening to: Mae - Release Me

My laptop and files were rescued; thank God, my dad and the lovely lady at HP.

Just a couple of days ago, I was thinking, but didn't have the opportunity to post about, one of many human conditions. I do believe that at any stage of one's life/development, there is a necessary awkwardness in A: the disparity between what one perceives oneself to be (and be capable of)and B: what one genuinely is. Put simply, we will never truly understand who we really are at any point in our lives because this understanding comes only at a later stage after we've been proven wrong for thinking such and such about ourselves.

Consequently, this gap perpetuates throughout the entire course of our lives. If we can imagine plotting these two entities (A and B) on a graph of two axes (time and 'being'), A will always be a little/lot behind B in 'being' when viewed in terms of time as if in constant but fruitless pursuit, managing only to get where B has been but never meeting.

I am actually very glad to be doing romantic ballet again. I didn't realise how much I missed it. For not having gone up the grades, I think it is a bit of an 'equalizer' for technical disadvantages since it capitalizes very much on style as well =D

A random thought: 'The Robber Bride' (the movie) based on the book by Margaret Atwood is pretty cool. I haven't done any reading up or anything but I'm also pretty sure these ideas aren't original, but I like how in the end everyone claimed to have killed Zenia. With regard to the feminine narrative style, I guess it doesn't matter what really took place, because all of them had the desire, opportunity, and ability to kill her so that THEY ALL DID; for the ambiguity and inadequacy of the typical male narrative in accounting for the incident that we can assume this is how the incident took place to them and therefore to us.

If we can go beyond social conditioning of the emphasis on the 'concrete' male narrative, settling on a 'variable' account of events like this can probably be equally comfortable, like being able to see both with and without glasses.