Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I'm listening to: KT Tunstall - Under the Weather

Come over here, lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer, baby
'Cause you'll heal over
Heal over, heal over, someday


I'm having a really hard time figuring out where it's coming from. I wish you'd ask me the right questions so I could tell you the right answers. And maybe we're all feeling the same way. Then again, I've realised that the tendency to dwell on the less unappealing at the expense of neglecting its opposite, extends beyond regarding only the past and to the present as well. For that reason, it makes perfect sense to doubt any of this is as pleasant as it appears when your mental scope is so apparently selective. And what of it? There's no denying we're on to something, but it isn't what everyone thought they knew, and just as well because so much less is at stake here. I don't live in the moment, so that's probably a good thing. 

I still don't know where it's coming from, but I've made peace elsewhere. I think I know what's happening, but why - I couldn't tell you. Or, on second thought, I could. It's a little naive but never too much to ask. I'm just sorry if I come to find I've misplaced it because I wonder if it could be relocated in time - for what; and if at all. But at least I can say I saw you back there. 


It's so damn sweet of you
To look me in the eye

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'm listening to: Boston - Amanda

It makes me feel so sad. I think if any guy I didn't mind serenades me with this, I'll just burst into a bawling, blubbering mess. But as of now, I'm as 'green' as someone ready to hurl, and I doubt it'll happen (well, tough luck) so I just I want this song played at my funeral to signify/celebrate everything that could've been but wasn't quite meant to be.

There's a secret I want to tell you.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I'm listening to: Foals - This Orient

Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again



It's so rare for a catchy mainstream hit like this to actually be about something interesting, though I might just be overattributing meaning to it. It's hardly philosophically significant but striking anyway. Fate, chance, and transience; hello, I like you.

I wish everything was definitely nothing at all - so I don't keep wondering about what got lost along the way. In Little Italy - we don't know it but we've been looking out from different windows at the same sidewalk cafe.


"It's ironic because I don't think you're expecting me to stay and wait, and as much as I don't want to either, I can't help being hung up on every last goodnight. And I secretly still harbor everything I can't bear to recall."

, maybe if I asked
, but I know where I sit.
, so I wouldn't have to guess
, more than I already am
, which will be easier said than done;
but a start, nonetheless.
Though I will never --
, but just so I know you know.

What a movie.



Dear John,

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm listening to: Iron & Wine - Such Great Heights

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned


And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay


True, it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head
When you're away, when I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road

For several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home





They will see us waving from such great heights
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
"Come down now," but we'll stay.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I'm listening to: The Killers - When You Were Young

babble, babble, bitch, bitch
rebel, rebel, party, party
sex, sex, sex 
don't forget the violence
blah, blah, blah
got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
stick your stupid slogan in
everybody sing along

ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS READY FOR THE NEW SHIT?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I'm listening to: Keane - Your Eyes Open


Funny thing is when I look into your eyes
I sense something so sincere in your disguise





Then I wake up to your tele-smoke screen.





I can't stop listening to the soundtrack replay in my head.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm listening to: Patrick Swayze - Hungry Eyes

Would you be my boyfriend for 5-minutes?
What?
Please, just go with it, okay?



Even when you think you've got it pretty much figured out, a little consistency might be too much to ask for. Maybe only then, you'll realise it wasn't what you were looking for. Following which, you could wait till you're ready to hurl before you decide to get off and start wondering what took you so long.

"I never said it was her own fault for being a cold-hearted bitch. Because it clearly isn't, since it hinges on her parents' early divorce; but it doesn't make her any less of a bitch."

Last evening, I had the most wonderful time with great friends and great food, and the company of Swayze and his disgustingly cheesy but nonetheless addictively likeable song all the way home, on a chocolate (truffle cake) high. Today, I feel like I got run over.



Stay, ahh, just a little bit longer 

Please, please, please, please, please
Tell me you're going to

Now, your daddy don't mind
And your mommy don't mind
If we have another dance, together
Just one more, one more time


Oh, won't you stay just a little bit longer
Please let me hear you say that you will
Say you will

Won't you place your sweet lips to mine
Won't you say you love me
All of the time

Come on, come on, come on and stay

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I'm listening to: Michael Learns to Rock - 25 Minutes

I was so happy for a couple of hours (probably, in real time). Now it's just a dig at *some kind* of predicament, yet I don't feel too badly about it. 



Never before have I felt this way
I know what is right, but want for him to stay
I must be made of steel
For I just threw out the love of my dreams 


He's in my eyes, he is in my ears
He's in my blood, he is in my tears
I breathe love and see him every day
Even though my love is a world away

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I'm listening to: k.d. lang - Miss Chatelaine

Just a kiss, just a kiss
I have lived just for this
I can't explain why I've become
Miss Chatelaine

Just a smile, just a smile
Hold me captive just awhile
I can't explain why I've become
Miss Chatelaine


Every time your eyes meet mine
Clouds of qualm burst into sunshine


Just a sigh, just a sigh
Words my love just reply
I can't explain why I've become
Miss Chatelaine

Miss Chatelaine

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I'm listening to: Frank-Bunny

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?




Scared sleepless by the awful Frank-Bunny and having spent ages trying to figure out the timeline/jet-engine, I think I've finally arrived at a personally satisfactory understanding of the film. The jet-engine that crashes through Donnie's roof in both the Primary and Tangent Universes at the same point in collateral real-time is an Artifact thrown back in time through a wormhole or portal of sorts 28 days later in the Tangent Universe, where its presence is a jarring paradox (since it has no cause for being) that causes a rift in space-time resulting in the Tangent Universe to branch off from the Primary, of which the former occupies the bulk of the plot. So under the urging/orchestration of Frank-Bunny (the Manipulated Dead: having died in the Tangent Universe) and with the help of some other Manipulated Living (Roberta Sparrow/Grandma Death, Miss Pomeroy, Dr. Monitoff, etc.), Donnie is the Living Receiver who unfolds a chain of events that eventually lead up to his deliberate sending of the falling jet-engine through the time portal, thus giving the 28-day-old fallen jet-engine a reason for being, and preventing yet another paradox of two metaphysically identical fallen jet-engines in the Tangent Universe, which would destroy it (and send it back on yet another loop?).

Interestingly, information collected from a few web sources (yes, I actually did research!) pointed out that this Tangent Universe goes on a replay loop until this had been done, as suggested by and giving reason for the characters' studied behavior, especially Donnie's creepy smiles; as well as Frank-Bunny's existence, since he dies only in the Tangent Universe, but when he appears to Donnie in it, his death hasn't even taken place yet. Just moments ago, I was wondering what Donnie's eventual death had to do with his saving the world, and I figured it out. He didn't die to save the world, he died because he saved the world, since Frank-Bunny never died to appear as a vision to get him to leave the house before the jet-engine crashed directly on his room. I suppose the former would be accurate as well, since (after multiple Tangent-Universe loops and some retained impression of things and events) the Donnie Darko in replay #? finally did everything he did with the understanding that it would cost him his life. In the theater, he asks Frank-Bunny when 'this' all ends (doubly meaning the relooping as well as the nightmarish visions), and Frank-Bunny replies saying Donnie should know. 

But I don't get why the time portal opens in the Tangent Universe, though I think both Tangent and Primary Universes do not interact at all, save the jet-engine; and they both have equal cause for independent existence (or more accurately the lack thereof for the opposite), which means that the film jumps from one to the other rather than their taking turns to occupy the singular plot. I THINK. And I also don't get why the Tangent Universe branched off prior to the appearance of the jet-engine. Oh wait, that could've been when it was passing through the time portal and flying through the air before it actually landed. Okay. It all makes sense now! Frank-Bunny isn't scary just because of his costume, but what his presence stands for: the space-time warp from hell. Bloody scary. The Donnie Darko filmmakers really bound their cult-classic brainchild well; it was microcosmically perfect, which makes a sequel not only unnecessary but impossibly difficult to successfully produce well, with the expectations it has to live up to. Which is probably why S. Darko sadly but not unexpectedly sucked ass, despite having some (inadequately redemptive of the overall product) interesting qualities of its own.

Oh yes, the fictional Roberta Sparrow's The Philosophy of Time Travel is fascinating. 



And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.